


Ancient Nordic Wingdings (or, Tony Stark, through improbable means, becomes a Green Lanturn)

by deltacrow



Category: Iron Man: Armored Adventures
Genre: AU: Canon divergence, Iron Man: Armoured Adventures - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1619423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltacrow/pseuds/deltacrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>reposting as a stand-alone, because I'm going to delete the one-chapter thing from "fuck help i dont know what im doing, a series by me" and add to this occasionally.</p><p>'He's also unaware of the ring glowing until it levitates and <i>punches itself</i> out of the <i>bulletproof windows</i> and chases the armor back to whence it came.</p><p>Obadiah has already spent his three percent on idiots. But he had absolutely nothing budgeted in for what looked like magic decoder rings. "Well, shit," he breathed.'</p><p>...</p><p>"Hey, bro, <i>check it</i>-- apparently this thing uses some sir of sentient energy to let me make constructs <i>from</i> my <i>mind!</i>"</p><p>"That looks like Nordic runes and Wingdings had a lovechild. How are you even <i>reading</i> that?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ancient Nordic Wingdings (or, Tony Stark, through improbable means, becomes a Green Lanturn)

_"Tony, I_ really _need to get back to Spanish. Why am I still on comms duty?"_

"Because I know you hate it," Tony replied. "So I'm getting you to do something interesting. Live a little, Rhodey!"

_"Tha-- wait. Wait a minute, life doesn't work that way, not for non-genius billionaires!"_

"Hang on, what's Stane looking at?"

\--- ---

Obadiah Stane has maybe three percent of his brain dedicated to dealing with idiots. Another six percent was used to deal with Starks, who were essentially idiots with PhDs, and now 86 percent is used to beg, borrow, and outright steal (while negotiating) billions of dollars for Stark Industries. But to reiterate: he has maybe three percent of his brain power allocated to idiot wrangling, and this is taking up all of that three percent. It's not even noon yet, for crying out loud.

"You're telling me that this... this _ring_ , just--" He can't even say it. Obadiah is terrified that he might contract second-hand idiot from the amount of garbage he's been elected to deal with. "That it appeared out of _nowhere_ , and _none_ of our sensors picked it up?"

The lead engineer on the Iron Monger project at least has the decency to look abashed by this. Because it really is a stupid cover for engineers not being able to notice anything under their noses. "We... we didn't pick up any data on it until it, uhh, until it _glowed_ , sir."

Here's where Obadiah needs an inexpensive table to flip. He settled for cradling his head in his hands and repeating, "it _glowed_."

"We-- we actually have footage to back that up, sir."

"Really. " If this is not a joke, then this could be both very good and very bad. Good, in that his lead engineer is not having a psychotic breakdown over a cereal box decoder ring. Bad, in that Obadiah really cannot stand the man's guts, and wants a reason to fire him. Also, the disappearing and appearing sounds like a Mandarin trait, which never bodes well for himself nor the company stock. "Show me," he commands, dropping the green cereal box decoder ring on his desk and turning his attention to the surveillance feeds from nine that morning, unaware of the red and gold armor perched on a ledge outside his office.

He's also unaware of the ring glowing until it levitates and _punches itself_ out of the _bulletproof windows_ and chases the armor back to whence it came.

Obadiah has already spent his three percent on idiots. But he had absolutely nothing budgeted in for what looked like magic decoder rings. "Well, shit," he breathed.

\--- ---

"Fuck, Rhodey, I don't know what he was doing--"

_**Alert. Unknown energy source detected. Warning. Unknown energy source approaching the user.** _

"Or what he had--

_"Qué te ha pasado, Antony?"_

"But it's gaining on me and I don't know what to do, help--"

 _"Relaje, Antony, let Rhodey talk you do-- holy_ shit _, don't you_ dare _come by the Armory with that thing on your tail!"_

"I am running out of power on my heart, I have to--"

 _"Clearing out, man, got the headset, you are clear to_ die _in the Armory."_

"You were the best, man. -- _Holy fuck_ , I--!"

\--- ---

The green ring rested on a console table. Rhodey looked at it cautiously, while Tony took a nap at the recharging station. Every time the African-American youth poked at the ring, it sent an electric shock through whatever apparatus he held to his hand. Tony also looked vaguely uncomfortable for a second every time he poked at the ring, which prompted Rhodey to stop poking and just glare at it like it held the secrets of the universe and was being a child about sharing them-- which, in fairness to Rhodey, was an accurate assessment. This was not an environment conducive to study in Spanish. (The Armory never was. Rhodey liked to pretend that it could be, though.)

\--- ---

As it happened, Tony didn't die in the Armory. The energy source stopped when he stopped, and moved when he did, keeping a uniform distance of about two and a half feet, which was within easy grasping distance. Upon closer inspection, the glow in green energy happened to be surrounding what looked like a ring-- not even a plain ring, but one that looked like it came with its own Mardi Gras beads.

He had a strange urge to grab at it. He resisted the urge; one simply does not grab at strange energy signatures.

"Oh for heaven's sake, boy," a voice called, "take the ring already."

The teen swore and looked around. Rhodey had evacuated the Armory like a bat out of hell, and Pepper was out being herself somewhere. He called out a  "Rhodey?" Into his comm unit.

 _"Man, I-- I can't_ believe _you, you asshole, making me think you were going to die again!"_

"Yeah, well, for the record, I thought I was gonna die, too," he replied, "but that's really not the point. You will not die, I think--"

"--of course this won't kill your friend, do you really think the Guardians would flagrantly disobey rules that we set down, hmm?"

"-- but I think I might have snapped under the stress, because there's a ring hovering two and a half feet away from my hand, and it's being sassy with me." Tony tapped his chin for a moment, still encased in his armor. "Also the energy signature that Stane was looking at was the ring that's being sassy, and I still need to recharge my heart."

"What the _fuck_ , Tony," Rhodey spat out, the elevator door whispering shut behind him. "There is a _ring_ that is _being sassy_ to you?" This had become Rhodey's life. How had this become Rhodey's life?

"I'd prefer if we held off the inquisition until the young man becomes a Lantern and keeps himself from dying, _thank you_ , Sir Rhodes. Please, Sir Stark, _take the ring_."

"This all sounds like the beginning of an awful horror movie," Tony remarked absently, by he still held out his hand. Much of his being flashed green before he absently dropped the ring onto a table, had the armor removed, and moved to the med bay for a nap and a recharge. "'Night," Tony called, before falling asleep.

"Fuck you, Tones," Rhodey called back, stink-eyeing the mystical sassy decoder ring on the table. He reached out and poked it, wondering what would happen. He had not been expecting to be lightly tasered, or for Tony to roll over, a sleepy frown adorning his face, and mumble, "Don' touch mah rin'."

\--- ---

The headache began not with the ring itself and what it stood for-- no, not even the massive power it grants its users.

No, it began with _how_ the ring got there.

The ring itself fell through wormholes-- or some interdimensional equivalents to wormholes-- after leaving the corpse of a former Green Lantern. That crack in spacetime emptied out inside a Stark Industries laboratory, where it stayed, because scientists are a very stubborn lot and essentially, people with lots of willpower are very stubborn. It just had to wait to find someone who could beat them out.

And then, well, Tony happened. Tony happened multiple times, apparently, the first time a simple fly-by without any time for the Power Ring get any major readings done.

"So what I'm getting from this whole thing," Rhodey said, palms flat on the table in front of him and hands rigid, "is that you wanted Tony for your Interpol initially. You control the rings who find the people, right?"

"Well, yes," the ring, now known to the teens as a Guardian of Oa. admits.

Tony leaned back from where he was buffing soot out of the crevices of a gauntlet to yell "I'm hearing a 'but' in there!"

"We didn't actually _have_ any data on this world until the ring got there. Your Earth," the Guardian continued, "is not at all similar to the Earth _here_ or any of its dimensional copies. Yet it is, because there are humans, with similar technological advancements, and there are-- more importantly-- _heroes_ here."

"So you didn't know there were any compatible Lanterns," Tony extrapolated.

"Your strength of character and proximity were very much a serendipitous occurrence for both you and I. Meanwhile, we'll need to get you here to train you."

"Not a chance," Tony replied, harmonizing with Rhodey's "that would be an awful idea".

"You don't understand," the Guardian sighed. "Intergalactic operating protocol is not an easy task--"

"And I get that," Tony cut in, "but I was raised as the son of a corporate tycoon and, wow, am _actually a genius_." He grinned. "Send me the rule book or whatever. I have supervillains to save the world from."

(After dealing with the universe's most stubborn strike teams, one would think the Guardians could persuade a young vigilante to get training. The rings do, however, look for the most pig-headed in existence. The Guardians really do not realize how to pick an angle on a losing battle.)

\--- ---

"Hey, bro, _check it_ \-- apparently this thing uses some sir of sentient energy to let me make constructs _from_ my _mind!_ "

"That looks like Nordic runes and Wingdings had a lovechild. How are you even _reading_ that?"

\--- ---

Pepper had forgone any sort of usual greeting when she came by the Armory. "Guys, guys, I saw the armor doing loop-de-loops an hour ago," she announced, in her rapid-fire auctioneer’s voice. “I would have been here sooner but Dad got a call from work and he left the latest reports about the Maggia-Tong turf disputes, speaking of the Maggia really do not have any moral high ground, you’d think they’d learn-- Hey!”

Tony cuts in, horrified: “Wh- oh my _God_ , Pepper, you don’t talk about gangs having moral high ground, ever--”

“What the hell happened to your armor? The green is really not your color, Tony-- wait, did you build another armor? _Did you build me one?_ Because wow, thanks, but green doesn’t really suit me--”

Rhodey clutched his head. _Pepper was not supposed to know about this until later._ He groaned, realizing that he was probably going to play damage control for these two morons for the rest of his natural life, and maybe even longer. “There’s only one armor, and I’ve been trying to tell you that, Tony.” The two morons in question inhale sharply, like they’ve been fatally wounded. Rhodey counts backwards from three, and cue fallout:

“But that one’s green and white--”

“Astute observation.”

“I can rock _anything_ and _everything_ \--”

“Wrong, you cannot rock a zoot suit.”

“Then where is the gold and red one, huh--”

“Both of you! Need! To calm! Down!”

Pepper and Tony fell into sullen silence. Rhodey has the best Angry Mom voice, but only because Roberta has used it enough times on him, and he’s practiced it enough over the years trying to corral Tony. Rhodey gestured for Tony to take off the ring, and he did so, grudgingly. The armor went through a bit of free fall before the repulsors kicked in, and the green tints and glow retreated with the ring, bringing the Iron Man suit back to its ostentatious glory. Pepper squealed, “that is so cool!” and Rhodey just. Clutched his head because _here it is, the epitome of his life._ “Tony accidentally got an magic alien decoder ring. And can now read Ancient Nordic Wingdings. How was your day, Pepper?”

\--- ---

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really not fond of Pepper's characterization in IM:AA, but I like that Howard's not a shit and that Tony has some sort of paternal guidance with Howard and Roberta. And that he has friends. Friends are always nice. 
> 
> But I think I did her Alt. Teenage Self some modicum of justice, and I think if I write in Pepper more, I'll try to get her character to grow more into MCU Pepper or something. Hopefully.


End file.
